


The Dark End of the Street

by swtalmnd



Series: Project Monster [3]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: 00Q - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, M/M, Q-Branch Minions, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 13:11:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7053142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swtalmnd/pseuds/swtalmnd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bond makes an unexpected appearance in Q's office, which leads to Colin being read in on Project Monster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dark End of the Street

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CorpusInvictus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorpusInvictus/gifts).



> On tumblr (where I'm amysnotdeadyet, come say hi!), corpusinvictus requested: 00Q, "don't be afraid." This was meant to be a ficlet. You can see where that got me.
> 
> Thanks once again to Erinjoyknits for the beta. All remaining typos and misgenderings are mine (sorry, Andy!).

"Don't be afraid," said Bond.

Q whirled, eyes wide. "That is not an encouraging way to start a conversation," he said, swallowing as he peered into the shadowy corner of his office. "Did you walk all the way here?"

"I'm injured," said Bond, his voice rough now that Q was hearing it. "I need to rest before I can change back to fully human."

Q relaxed and stalked over to the corner. "Is that all?" he said, making an irritated tch sound before bending down to brush his hand over the short blond hair, checking for blood. "You're my monster, James. I'm never afraid of you anymore."

James made a soft noise and looked up at him with big, dark eyes that seemed to get more human by the moment. "How did I ever earn you?"

Q smirked and gave him a soft kiss on a clean spot. "You didn't. I'm here on credit," he said teasingly. "Let's clean you up so I can kiss you. Do you need to stay in the shadows?"

Bond chuckled, blood on his mouth that might or might not be his own. "It might help, but I'm not like Andy."

"I'll bring you something to sit on, and get Colin to fetch the first aid kit," said Q, pressing a kiss to Bond's other cheek. He went over to the couch and snagged the pillow and blanket he sometimes used to catch naps when missions turned to all-nighters. He also texted Colin for tea and the first aid kit to his office. Then he sighed and texted Moneypenny that Colin was going to have to be read in soon, if not right now, and she'd better get permission before Q did it anyway.

"How will you explain me to your minion?" asked Bond, already sounding a little stronger. Travelling in shadow seemed to tire him out, but just sitting in the dark sometimes did the opposite.

"I've asked permission to read him in, again," said Q with a shrug. "We'll see what the powers that be decide."

Between them, they managed to get James leaning comfortably in the corner. Q took a moment to look at him, to really see the wide mouth, lips thin and barely covering the sharp teeth he knew would be in evidence. His features were sharper, smoother, but in a manner that suggested something other than human, though his hair was still the same short-cropped blond. The hands loosely curled into his body came to sharp claws, not like a cat's but more like a squid's beak, moving seamlessly from skin to a hard point at each fingertip. No wonder he never used his tablet when he was like this. His body had been heavier, denser than usual, and seemed to have more muscles than a human should under the tattered suit.

"Still not afraid," he said, kissing James' worried brow.

James relaxed into a pained smile, letting just a hint of his teeth show. "You did faint the first time."

"You didn't exactly give me proper warning," Q protested, but he smiled back anyway.

There was a sound by the door, and Q got up to go waylay Colin before he could be read in the hard way. "Got everything?" he asked.

Colin gave him a quick, easy grin. "Yep, tea, biscuits, those horrid vending-machine sandwiches Bond likes, and the full medkit. Gonna tell me how he got past security?"

Q's phone beeped and he raised his eyebrows to see that Moneypenny was on her way down to help. "Well, that's a bit of a long story, Eve's going to help tell you, I guess. Go get her a cup and some of those ginger things she likes?"

"Will do," said Colin, who had included a cup for himself on the tray as a matter of habit. Q often had him in for lunch with or without James, and Colin had started including himself without having to be reminded. He set the tray on the coffee table and wandered back out, and Q brought a bottle of water and the medkit over to where Bond was resting.

"Here, start with this," said Q, handing Bond the water. "Is that yours or...?"

Bond swigged the water and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Bit of both," he said with a shrug. "Part of why I'm staying like this, it's harder to get infections."

"Ew," said Q with a wrinkle of his nose. "All right, what needs looking after?"

Bond actually looked a bit sheepish, which Q took for a good sign. "I've got some slashes to my side, he had a knife," he said.

"I already knew you were getting me a new blanket," replied Q dryly. "Might as well strip you to your skivvies, I'm sure I saw you favouring one leg." They busied themselves getting Bond's clothes off, and Q was relieved to hear voices preceding Eve and Colin's arrival together.

"Where have you two got off to?" called Eve, heels clicking on the concrete floor.

"We're here in the corner," called Q. "Why don't you read Colin in while I look at Bond, and then he can bring us some tea."

"What's there to be read in on?" asked Colin, though Q had heard him close and lock them into the office. "Is there a secret entrance down here?"

"Not exactly," said Eve. "Come on, pour us a cuppa and I'll tell you a story."

Q tuned them out, concentrating on disinfecting and bandaging Bond's side. He really needed a stitch or seven, but Q wasn't qualified and Bond hated the doctors that were part of Project Monster, some of them with good reason. He made do with what he had, and got James closed up enough to be going on with, then turned his attention to the nasty gash in one thigh. "All right, this really does need stitching," said Q, huffing in frustration.

"Oh, well, I can probably do something with that," said Bond. "My side, that's basically as is, but..." He trailed off, and Q watched as his muscles rippled and blurred, legs becoming smoother, sleeker, and sprouting side fins that would help him in water. His feet, when Q glanced down, had also changed to facilitate swimming; the toes had elongated into webbed claws. Shifting closed up the wound almost completely, turning into two small cuts on either side of the left fin.

Q looked at his side, but that wound was hidden by bandages. Above, Bond's neck had sprouted gills -- Q had known about them intellectually, but seeing them was still a bit of a shock. Fins and gills were somehow much more inhuman on his boyfriend than sharp teeth and extra muscles, or even the claw-hands, which had become webbed with that final shift.

"Can you still breathe?" asked Q, aware that he sounded a little breathless himself.

Bond nodded, brow knitting. "Is this all right?" he asked, making as if to cover himself with the blanket.

"Yes!" said Q, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. "Yes, it's fine, I just, somehow the gills were the weird bit."

Bond chuckled and pulled Q into a thin-lipped kiss. "I know what you mean, love."

Q relaxed, finding him familiar despite all the changes. "You're still my monster," he said softly, pressing their foreheads together. "All right, let me finish this leg."

A few small bandages and a quick exam for any other wounds, and Bond was all set to snuggle back under his blanket in the dark. "We're ready for tea," called Q, noting the silence coming from the seating area.

"Oh! Yes, I, sorry. It's a lot, you know," said Colin, accompanied by the faint clatter of china.

"I know exactly what you mean," said Q. He waited until Colin was headed their way to add, "I fainted the first time. Bond had to catch me."

Colin giggled, a bit of colour coming back to his face. "Did you really?" he asked, hand Q his mug.

Bond looked uncertain; he'd hidden everything he could under the blanket, hiking it up over his gills. 

Q gave him an encouraging nod. "I did, Bond smiled his shark-tooth smile without warning me first. You'll do better, he's got claw-hands now, just hand him his mug."

Colin swallowed, looking down as Bond's hand emerged into the dim light. "H-here you go, s-sir."

"I'd never hurt you, Colin," said Bond, trying to keep his teeth covered. He closed careful fingers around the mug and tugged it free of Colin's stunned grip. "We already established that, remember?"

Colin giggled again and relaxed a little more. "I-I guess you did. I forgot about that." He squatted down and asked shyly, "Can I see your teeth?"

Q chuckled. "See? Oh, damn, this means you're going to have to be our houseguest for awhile, I think."

"E-eve said, um, you or someone?" said Colin, eyes entirely for Bond.

Bond nodded. "Ours is fine, we have a guest room. And a pet flying monkey." He let his teeth show as he talked, then gave the same big, toothy grin that had so unsettled Q.

"Oh, my, that's. I, um, can see why that would be. Um," Colin swallowed.

The sound of Eve's heels preceded her as she brought over Colin's tea. "Have a good long sip, that'll steady you," she said. "If Q and Bond will take you in, they're your best bet. They've been fortifying their home against intrusion since Octopussy dropped by unannounced."

"She hates that name," said Q and Bond in unison, and everyone laughed.

Colin took a shaky sip of his tea, and then another. "If you'll have me, I'd feel safest with you two, I think."

"I'm not a monster," said Q, "if that helps at all. I'm Bond's mate, though, and one of these days he's going to properly human marry me, once he remembers he's meant to propose."

Bond looked very sheepish and hid behind his mug.

Colin giggled again. "I think it helps," he said. "You have a pet flying monkey?"

Q grinned. "I do, its name is Andy and it's brilliant. It can talk, after a fashion. Remember when I put the cat bed in the corner and pretended it didn't exist?"

Colin outright laughed. "There's still a betting pool about that, you know."

"I know, and sadly you won't be allowed to spoil them on the truth. Andy, like James, can travel in the shadows to come visit, and it's easier for him if he's going between two spaces that are his," said Q. "They can't really explain what it means to keep a space, but it's got something to do with owning their little corner of shadow so hard no one else can invade it."

Bond gave him a look that suggested he found Q's explanation lacking, but he sipped his tea rather than offering a better one, so Q let it go.

"And dou- um, Bond keeps the whole flat for you?"

"And my office," said Q. "That's why he's here so much when he's between missions."

"We'll keep you safe," promised Bond, looking serious for once. "Q would never forgive me if I let you get hurt."

"The bringer of tea is sacred," said Q.

Eve chuckled. "I can see you boys have this well in hand, I'm going to go report in. Ta for the biscuits, you're the only one that remembers I like Ginger Nuts. Everyone else just gives me Biscoffs." She gave Colin a pat on the shoulder. "You've got my number now, if you need anything, and Q knows who all's been read in."

"I made them give me a list," said Q. "Can you believe they actually call it Project Monster?"

"I know, right?" said Colin with another laugh. He glanced back over at Bond, who was still holding tea with his clawed hand and sipping with a mouth full of shark teeth, but he seemed to be getting used to the sight. "So, when can I meet your monkey?"

"It's here," said Bond unexpectedly. "I wasn't sure if Q would be in his office, so I called it when I came."

Andy crawled out from under the blanket and let out a curious trill. "New human?" it asked, snuggling up on Bond's chest.

Q stroked its head fur. "This is Colin, he's my assistant. He'll be staying with us for a few weeks."

Colin held his hand out like he might when meeting a strange dog or cat, and Andy leaned in to sniff. "Smells new."

"He just learned about you today," agreed Q.

Colin's eyes got big. "They really can smell it?" He looked around himself, as if he could see whatever aura drew in the monsters to those newly aware.

Andy trilled again. "Yumyums?" it asked Q, clearly more interested in its treats than the new human.

Q laughed. "I'm sure there's something. Colin, can you grab some fruit or veg out of my minifridge for it?"

"Why d'you call it an it?" asked Colin, standing already.

"Not a he or she, I's it," said Andy. He crawled over Bond and started to climb Colin's leg, six limbs making easy work of it as it swarmed up into Colin's reflexive grasp. "Yumyums?" it asked again.

Q laughed. "It wants to choose, go on, it's an herbivore so it won't bite."

"Nosharps," said Andy, wiggling its strong, flexible, blunt-tipped fingers.

Just as it had with Q, the softness of Andy's fur seemed to calm and fascinate Colin. Q rescued Colin's mug, and Colin stroked Andy's hair as he walked them over to the minifridge to explore the snack options.

"Andy is the cure for everything," said Q, amused. "It helped me with you, you know."

"I know," said Bond with a chuckle. "Why do you think I spoil it?"

"How much longer?" asked Q. Bond's eyes had lost nearly all of the sharklike flatness, and his features seemed softer and more human.

"Not much," said Bond. "Bandages helped, and tea helps more."

"I help," said Q, leaning in to kiss him again. "I'm a good mate that way."

"You really do," said Bond, claiming another kiss.

"Ugh, mouthpets," said Andy, who was being carried back with five of its six hands full of treats and the last one clutched in Colin's shirt.

"Andy disapproves of kissing," said Q, standing up and dropping a kiss on its head. "So, we'll go by yours and then mine, and work from home as much as possible until our residents declare your monster allure has dissipated."

"That sounds good," said Colin, relaxing as Andy popped a grape into its mouth. "Your pet is really cute, I don't suppose it's got a sibling?"

They all laughed at that, and Andy chirped up with, "Couldmake. Dunno if you couldkeep."

"Andy reproduces asexually," said Q, "but it's not sure that your monster-free home would work for it."

"And we don't need another pet," said Bond firmly.

Q looked amused, but didn't comment. "Colin, why don't you stay with my monsters, and I'll go find one of Bond's spare suits. He'll be back to his usual self pretty soon, and will need to report to M."

"Ugh, debriefs," said Bond, imitating Andy and making everyone laugh again.

"We'll be safe in here while Bond's upstairs," assured Q, seeing the worry creepy into Colin's gaze. "I can always call in one of the other monsters, I think 003's lurking around."

"I, I don't think that's necessary," said Colin. "003, really?"

"Really," said Q. "Not all the Double-Os are, but some of them." He had a feeling Colin would open up with more questions once Bond had left, no matter how nervous he was of being without his protection.

"We're all different, though," said Bond. "Did Eve explain?"

"A little, sir," said Colin. "She said something about Q having files?"

Q chuckled. "She brought me a stack the first night, and I might have neglected to return them."

Bond sat up with a little groan. "I think I'm well enough for the couch and those sandwiches now," he said.

Q handed the two mugs off to Andy and Colin, and helped Bond to stand. He was wearing a pair of slightly bloodied boxer-briefs and nothing else, and it showed off both how strong and how monstrous his current form appeared. The fins and gills had faded, but he was still a clawed, stocky creature out of someone's imagination rather than the man Colin was used to, and Colin took an involuntary step back.

"Still not going to hurt you," said Bond wryly.

Q retrieved the blanket, pillow, and Bond's cup from the floor. "Come on, love, you're still favouring that leg," he said, helping Bond limp over and put the leg up on the coffee table. "You're going to have to let me drive if it stays like this."

Bond's glare said exactly what he thought about that. Colin refrained from commenting, instead getting all their tea set down and refreshed, and making sure Andy was comfortable clinging to him still.

"I really like your pet," said Colin shyly. "You're very nice," he added to Andy itself.

"Goodscout," trilled Andy.

Q chuckled. "It's our scout, so it knows it's earning its place. The meo- erm, cats, it feels, are above such things or maybe beneath them," he explained.

"Goodhome," agreed Andy. "Meowmeows good pets." He wrinkled up his face adorably and added, "Mouthpets though, ugh."

"They like to groom it," said Q with a laugh. "Anyway, you've met Sunna and Sekhmet, so we'll just have to freshen up the guest room and you'll be all set to stay."

"Yumyums," said Andy with a sigh, looking over at Bond. "Best yumyums."

"Giving away all my secrets, little pet?" teased Bond back.

Colin looked confused.

"James is secretly a gourmet cook," said Q. "Remember that tagine from a couple of weeks ago?"

"The one he wouldn't tell me where it came from?" asked Colin. "He made -- you made that?" he said, turning to Bond. "You have to make that again, oh my god."

"Beeeest yumyums," trilled Andy, looking smug now.

Q laughed. "He made a vegetarian one for Andy that was also incredible," he said. "And yes, James always cooks when he's home, and he'll be on assignment with us until you're free and clear."

"I'll make the tagine, both kinds," promised Bond. "Give me my sandwiches?"

"Oh! Yes, sorry," said Colin, retrieving them from the tray and handing them over.

Andy took the opportunity to climb back over to cuddle against Bond's injured side, making little purring trills. "Squishsquish," it said. "Bad."

"I'll heal up," said Bond, scratching behind its ears before he opened the first sandwich. "It's what I'm good at."

Andy trilled again and settled in against Bond, adding whatever shadowy energy it had to Bond's own. 

Q smiled at them both rather fondly, and then sighed and picked up his own tea. "I've got to get ready for us to abandon Q-branch for two weeks," he said. "Colin, you stay here and take care of Bond, I'll put the other minions to work for once."

"Yes, sir," said Colin. "Should I pack up anything in here?"

"Hm," said Q, glancing around. "Maybe the tablet prototype? That's something we can work on together. Bring enough parts to build at least one more."

"Will do," said Colin. He turned to talk to Bond, and Q headed back out to throw this new wrench into the well-oiled machinery of his department.

* * *

When Q returned to his office two hours later, Bond was asleep on the couch with Andy asleep on his thigh, and Colin was carefully packing up what appeared to be a second Faraday-caged crate of components.

"Are we bringing enough for a whole fleet of tablets?" asked Q. "If Bond's healed up enough to shift back and dress, we can do some email triage while he heads up to M's. The branch itself should be safe enough, it's well-lit and full of other people." He brandished the suit he was carrying, still in its dry-cleaning bag.

Colin flushed and grinned. "Bond convinced me to pack up one of your other projects that he says always makes you happy," he said, pointing to the newly-bare spot on Q's workbench that had once held Q's spare-time miniaturisation project.

"Don't bring any explosives," warned Q. "My flat's not equipped."

"Nope, those are safely stored away from Bond's grabby hands," said Colin cheerfully.

Bond opened one eye. "Much to my deep disappointment," he said. He stroked Andy's head, and then closed his eyes and blurred around the edges in a way that always hurt Q's brain. When he snapped back into focus, he was his old self, all charming grin and full lower lip.

"Good to see you're feeling better," said Q, bringing the suit over and stealing a kiss from that lovely mouth. "Need a shower?"

"Might do," said Bond. "Is there one?"

"Just the cold one," said Colin. "For, you know, chemical burns and stuff." He had that nervous look again, like the demonstration that Bond literally defied the laws of physics was enough to throw him off-kilter. Q could sympathise.

"That'll have to do," said Bond. They went to the little corner of Q's office, dropping Andy off in its cat bed so it could head home. Bond gave himself a quick, cold rinse. Q examined his wounds under the guise of changing bandages, pleased to see everything already looking much better, though he was still a little worried that there was deeper damage to Bond's leg.

"You're going to rest at home, right?" asked Q, helping him into his clothes.

Bond sighed. "Yes, there's still something wrong with my thigh, and yes, I'm going to rest and let it recover. I won't have much to do but cook and keep the space."

"Good," said Q, pulling him in for a rather heated kiss. "I'll be on top tonight, then."

Bond chuckled wickedly. "For the sight of you above me, perhaps I'll limp an extra day or two," he purred.

Q chuckled. "As long as you like, love." He finished straightening Bond's clothing between kisses until he was looking his usual sharp self.

"Bond, make sure you arrange the car service for us, we can't take your two-seater with Colin," said Q. "I know you only like some of the drivers," he added, forestalling Bond's half-formed objection.

"Yes, all right," said Bond. "I'm off to M's and to do your bidding. I'll try not to take long."

"I'll have Colin fill out the paperwork for yet more lost equipment," replied Q.

Bond rolled his eyes, but didn't try to contradict him, as he'd obviously returned with nothing more than the clothes on his back, which they'd already disposed of. Q had double-checked that there wasn't anything tucked into pockets or seams, but Bond had used every bit of tech to the point of destruction, with not even his earwig left intact.

They kissed one last time, and Bond sauntered off with his charming persona on full force, just daring anyone to ask how he'd found himself in Q's office in need of a change of clothing. Q and Colin emerged and went to their respective workstations, Q bringing his tablet along into the break room so Colin could clear up after their snack and make fresh tea. He wasn't nearly the protection Bond was, but it helped having anyone else around -- most monsters were reluctant to out themselves.

Several of the other minions crowded in with them, making it a perfect little sanctuary while Colin made tea for everyone. They had questions for Q, but Q was very amused to see that getting a cuppa straight from Colin's hands seemed to be the primary motivation for their timing.

"All right, all right," said Q, once they had clearly run through their questions and were just malingering. "Colin will be back when I am in a couple of weeks, you'll all survive without him."

"Tea isn't the same without Colin's touch," said Divya, looking sulky.

Q chuckled. "I won't disagree, but he's my assistant, so I get to keep him." He led Colin over to their respective desks, where they both packed up more than the usual amount. Q took all of his sweets, for one thing, including the emergency stash that was getting a bit old anyway. Between Q's things and Colin's they filled a third box, though it wasn't one of the fancy equipment ones, just a simple plastic bin.

Bond came strolling in just as Q was starting to worry, stride even and a smug smile on his face that likely meant very little about the meeting, but that he'd arranged a treat for the three of them. "We're almost ready," said Q, greeting Bond with a kiss.

"Ride's waiting," said Bond. "Will we need help loading the car?"

"Nope, one box each and our bags, and we'll be good," said Q cheerfully. He shut down his workstation and glanced over to find that Colin had already done the same, and was looking nervous but determined.

"All set?" asked Q.

"Yes, sir," said Colin, smile only a little wobbly.

Q gestured for Colin to take the box of food, and James led them back into the office to check that everything there was secure and retrieve the two boxes of equipment. He spent a moment doing whatever it was he did to keep the space his own, and then scooped up the heavier box, leaving the last one for Q.

The ride to Colin's was quiet, since the driver wasn't read in, though he and Bond chatted in the front seat like old friends. They made quick work of packing up Colin's things, Bond making an effort to have his own scent overwhelm Colin's, or his aura, or whatever it actually was that monsters sensed in order to find people like Colin to prey upon. Colin's flat was tiny and unassuming, though Q could see small luxuries had cropped up here and there, the legacy of his steady work and good reviews as Q's assistant.

"I'm glad you got that console you've been wanting," said Q. "Did you want to bring some games? You can use our cables, so just bring the box and controllers."

"Really?" said Colin, drifting over to grab a couple of favourite games off the shelf. Q bent down to start unhooking the console.

"I like racing games," said Bond, "and Q has a couple of those rpgs that are fun."

"Andy likes to watch us play through the ones with stories," said Q with a soft smile. "He might try to make you start over from the beginning, though."

Colin laughed. "Well, we can always start you on this one, you've been wanting to try it," he said, waving one of the boxes at Q.

They finished up in short order and Bond stopped pacing the small flat and escorted them out. "I don't think anyone's peeked in, but I'll want to check it over again before you move back in."

Colin nodded. "I'd appreciate that," he said shyly. "Especially since I can't have a flying monkey of my own."

Q laughed and poked Bond. "I told you, Andy is irresistible."

Bond chuckled. "I never argued, did I?" he replied, holding the door so they could head out to the car. There was barely room in the trunk for all their things, and Colin ended up with the box of video games and books in his lap as they drove to Q's.

The driver helped them carry everything upstairs so it only took one trip. Bond gave him some sort of tip which he assured Q wasn't against regulations and Q wouldn't have minded, anyway. Q made a mental note to get his name, and the rest of Bond's list for his own future use.

"All right, let's get you settled in," said Q. Bond took the components to Q's work room, and they took the rest to the guest room. Colin unpacked and Q got the bed made up, while Bond went to take a proper shower.

"Don't dress before I change your bandages," Q said, giving him a kiss.

"I'll be a good monster," said Bond, vanishing into the master bath.

"You know where the laundry and all that are, I haven't changed anything vital, though the kitchen is practically unrecognisable now," said Q, coming in with his arms full of clean linens.

"Does he shoo you out?" asked Colin with a nervous giggle, glancing into the few shadows the room held.

"We can bring you some more lights," said Q, busying himself with remaking the bed. "And no, he doesn't have to. I've no real interest in cooking, so I make do with leftovers. Andy's culinary life is much more dull when Bond's not around."

At the sound of its name, Andy came swooping into the room and landed on Q's shoulder. "Willhave yumyums tonight!" it announced happily.

"We will," said Q, giving it a kiss. "James has already promised us something special."

"But not my tagine," said Colin with a dramatic sigh. "All right, I'm unpacked, I'll go make tea."

"It is your calling," teased Q. "Go on and feed the girls while you're in there, that'll remind them who you are."

"Nonsense, their love for me is eternal," Colin shot right back. "But yes, I'll feed them. You go see to your, um."

"My monster," said Q fondly. "Here, you take Andy, it'll be lookout and you can give it something out of the fridge to nibble on."

Andy obliged them by launching itself from Q's shoulder to Colin's with a happy cry of, "Yumyums!"

They laughed and went their separate ways, Q finding himself surprisingly sanguine about the idea of Colin as their indefinite houseguest. They'd have to be quieter in bed, certainly, but the three of them got on well, especially now that he'd been regularly subjecting them to each other's company at lunch.

The shower turned off, and Q rolled up his sleeves and got to work on Bond, then took the opportunity for a shower for himself. He emerged in comfortable house clothes to find James, Colin, and Andy on the couch with the cats, talking about games.

"You can't have two humans of your own," said Q, kissing Bond's hair.

Bond turned for a proper kiss. "Of course not, and you're irreplaceable. But Colin brought me a new puzzle game, so he will get his tagine as soon as we can do a grocery order."

"I always forget you like these," said Q with a fond smile. They'd hooked up Colin's console in place of Q's and were taking turns with the game. "If you don't get bored of it, we'll get you a copy once Colin's left us."

"Can I use your shower?" asked Colin.

Q heard what he really meant and smiled. "It's safe, yeah, the master bathroom and our bedroom are the two best-kept spots in the house," he said. "We'll get dinner started once I can pry James away from this."

"Oh, I'm fine," said James, saving the game. "I don't want to wear the shiny off too fast."

They all got up, and Q took his tablet into the kitchen to sit with Bond and start the grocery order. "We might want to do a bit more online shopping while we're here to get deliveries, if you still want that exercise thing," said Q.

"Well, I'm not sure there's anywhere to set it up with Colin here," said Bond. "I'll think about it."

"Thanks for taking him in so readily," said Q, getting up to interfere with his chopping and claim a kiss.

"He's important to you, and to all of Q-branch," said Bond. "It was impressively easy to get M to approve the assignment."

Q chuckles. "He's made M tea, too," he said wickedly. "Andy, you should keep a special eye on him while he's here, all right?"

"Mmhm," it agreed sleepily. It was curled up in its favourite napping spot Q's cardigan, sleeping off its snack of leftover baked sesame tofu.

Q chuckled and stroked its head. "Good monster," he said softly. He glanced up and caught Bond smiling at them both very fondly indeed. "Good monsters."

"You'll like dinner," said Bond, turning back to his chopping. He'd pulled some things out of fridge, freezer, and cupboards, and Q frankly had no idea what he was making but had every confidence Bond was right.

"I always do," said Q, saving his cart to check in with Colin about anything special he might like, aside from the tagine. He pulled up his email, which was mostly routine things with one or two hysterical responses to his out-of-office message which got very stern replies. His minions were well-trained, and no one would explode anything while he was gone.

Probably.

Anyway, they had to keep the place intact, or where would Colin make them all tea?

Q sipped the excellent cuppa he'd been poured and sent Divya some other pithy replies and fully authorised her to use them with anyone except M or another department head. He settled in to pet Andy with one hand and read a journal article about advances in touch-sensitive technology with the other, and let the warmth of home settling into his bones.

"I should work from home more when you're around," he said, after a few quiet minutes.

"You do look awfully content right now," said Bond, coming over to give him a kiss and feed him a bite of veg in some kind of incredible, savoury sauce.

"Oh, my god, are we eating that?" Q asked. "That's, what is that? Why haven't you made it before?"

Bond laughed and offered a cooled bite to Andy, who poked its head out for the treat. "It's something new, and yes, it's dinner."

"Yummmmmmmyums," trilled Andy, snuggling back up with a soft purr. "Besthome."

"Best home," agreed Q.

Colin came in, looking much refreshed and very much at home in his Super Mario Bros. pyjamas and fuzzy dinosaur-foot slippers. "You really do have a nice home," he agreed, making a beeline for the teapot.

"Here, try this," said Bond, following him and fishing out another bite of veg.

Colin used his fingers to pluck it off the spoon and eat it. "Mm, god, that's amazing." He licked his fingers and then poured himself the last cup of tea and went about making a fresh pot. "Oh, so Anne probably knows where I am because she flags all my HR stuff, unless she's not read in and won't see it? Am I allowed to call her?"

"That's his girlfriend," said Q, at Bond's strange look. "Anne in HR."

"Oh!" James laughed. "Yeah, you can call her, I don't remember if she's read in or not so just tell her you're on a special assignment to work at home with me and Q if she doesn't know about it already."

"Will do," said Colin cheerfully. "I'll call once the tea's ready, Q's about done with his cuppa and he'll want more."

Bond laughed. "You really do have psychic tea powers," he teased. "Maybe you're, like, one one-thousandth monster."

"Or it's a purely human mutation," said Q. "Like witches."

"Witches are real, too?" asked Colin, eyes going wide again.

Q chuckled. "I'll show you the files, you can stay up all night reading if you want," he said. "We'll put some more lights in your room, too, and Bond will come sit for awhile and do his monster keeping thing."

"We can have our reading time in Colin's room," said Bond. "You've read _The Lord of the Rings_ , right?"

Colin hmmed as he did his magic to somehow turn the same leaves, pot, and hot water into vastly superior tea. "Yes, of course, why?"

"That's what we're reading right now. I read aloud so Andy and James can both follow along," said Q, blushing a little. "We've finished _The Hobbit_ and are about halfway through _Fellowship_."

"I'm totally not allowed to tell anyone about this, am I?" said Colin with a huge, impish grin.

"Who would believe you?" asked Bond, grinning right back. "You'll love it, he even does voices for us."

Q huffed and pretended to be engrossed in his article.

Once the tea was poured, Colin made his call in the living room, sitting between the cats and reacquainting himself with them. Q finished his article and came to cuddle Bond, chin hooked over one shoulder. "How's the leg?"

"Already getting better," said Bond. "Being at home helps."

Q kissed his ear and sighed, moving to find plates and things in the cupboards and set the table. "We've really made it a home now, haven't we?"

"You always had," said James, turning to smile at him, "but it's even more so now. Warmer, I think."

"I wasn't really content before," said Q softly. "What else do we need?"

"Get that bottle of white wine out of the fridge, it'll go with this and Colin could probably use a glass," said Bond.

They moved together now, wine and glasses, food served onto plates and the rolls from the freezer baked up and in a basket in the middle of the table. Q could hear Colin's voice in the living room, reminding him of all the times Colin had fielded phone calls in Q-branch while Q was otherwise occupied or just uninterested in taking them.

"Dinner's ready!" he called, and Colin looked up and smiled.

Q and Bond got settled in, and Andy migrated to the counter with its smaller plate of vegetables and bread. There was fish on the humans' plates along with the vegetables, probably another freezer find. The sauce was rich and delicious and went with everything, though Q and Bond mostly sipped wine while they waited for Colin.

"Sorry," he said, taking his seat. "Oh, wow, this looks so good."

They all dug in and after a few good bites Q asked, "So, how's Anne?"

"She's good," said Colin. "She already knew, I guess she's actually the HR person that deals with Project Monster? She says it's a huge headache but she's glad you guys told me."

Q laughed. "I'm glad we told you, too. Now you can come over for dinner more often."

"You can even bring Anne," said Bond. "I didn't know you were seeing anyone."

Colin shrugged, looking sweet and shy. "I don't talk about her, much, but she's wonderful."

"She does a good job of guilting me into sending him home on time," said Q. "They see each other a lot, one of these days he's going to move into her flat, which is far superior."

"I will when she invites me to," said Colin with a shrug.

Q nodded. "Smart man," he said. 

They went back to eating, mostly commenting on the food and then food in general. Once the dinner was eaten, they finished up the grocery order while Colin took care of the dishes and Bond got the leftovers all tucked away.

"You're all spoiling me terribly," said Q, amused. "Movie first, or straight to reading?"

"Lights first," reminded Bond.

"Then reading, I think," said Colin shyly. "I'm pretty tired already."

"You get to make us a pot of night-time tea, then, and convince Bond to make us a little sweet to go with it," said Q, getting up and taking the tablet with him.

They all met up in Colin's room, Bond having moved things around so there was seating for everyone, though all three of the pets ended up on top of Colin somehow. Q got everything lit up and settled next to Bond in the cosy chair he'd appropriated from the living room. He didn't let himself overthink things, just demanded Bond feed him treats on cue, and then started in reading where they'd left off. He was gratified to see Colin look more fascinated than amused, at least once the story caught ahold of him, and soon enough everyone on the bed was sound asleep.

Q bookmarked where he was pretty sure they'd lost Andy, not wanting it to miss out on any of the story, and got up.

"Want your bed?" he whispered to the little monster.

"Beeed," it trilled sleepily, and Q retrieved it from Colin's side. Bond took care of all their dishes, swapping Colin's for a carafe of water and a fresh glass, and Q put the book safely on the dresser and went to tuck Andy into its covered pet bed.

"Good story?" Q asked as it crawled into the dark, soft space.

"Goodstory," it said, then it peeked back out and added, "Goodhome. Goodfriend."

"He is, isn't he?" agreed Q, stroking its head. "Go on, you sleep. Bond will be our lookout tonight."

Andy trilled again and pulled back into its bed, rustling as it tucked itself in with the blanket it kept inside.

Q echoed it, turning off most of the lights in the room and snuggling up with Bond in the bed. "I'm only this brave when you're home," he informed Bond, kissing him.

"We all love you anyway," said Bond, helping him get comfortable.

The excitement of the day settled over Q, weariness finally catching up, and he yawned. "Good answer," he said, snuffling at Bond's neck until he found the perfect sleeping spot. "Love you, too."

Q could feel Bond's hand in his hair as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

It took two weeks for Bond to declare Colin back to normal, and they waited until the Monday after that to all head in to work together. Bond made them waffles with fruit and whipped cream and a huge pile of bacon on the side, and they drank fresh apple-carrot juice from Bond's fancy new juicer.

"I'm really going to miss this," said Colin shyly, eating a second enormous waffle.

Q smiled warmly. "You'll have to come visit for brunch sometime," he offered.

"Or stay the weekend, you can use the room anytime," said Bond. "Even tonight, if you find yourself skittish, call and I'll come get you."

Q's chest blossomed with warmth. "He likes having you to play games with," he said. "But we know Anne must be missing you."

"I miss her, too," said Colin, "but I'll still call if I get scared being alone." He ducked his head and sipped his juice. "I really don't want to be eaten by monsters."

"Just remember," said Q, "most of the ones that might bite you hate the light." They'd made sure Colin had several working LED flashlights on him, and Bond and Andy had both walked in shadows so he'd recognise the neck-ruffling feeling of it.

Colin nodded, then grinned over at Andy. "You're sure I can't have a flying monkey of my own?" he asked.

Bond chuckled. "Not unless you start dating a monster of your own," he teased back.

"No more," said Andy. Four of its hands and half its face were covered in whipped cream and fruit, and it was grinning hugely. "Goodhome, I be good."

"Too bad," said Colin. "Anyway, now you can call him over for lunch sometimes and we can feed him kappa maki."

They finished up their food, and Andy cleaned itself up and got a good long drink from the faucet. It had also been given a small dish of juice, which it had figured out how to awkwardly lap up and found the taste worth the effort. Bond made sure the kitchen was in order while Q and Colin got him packed up, along with the work they were bringing back.

They'd finished three of the tablet prototypes. Q had decided to keep one tablet, his miniaturisation project, and most of the parts in his home workshop to do some tweaks, so there was only one Faraday crate to go with their plastic crate of personal items. Bond had refilled their stash of sweets with treats for both of them. He also promised to bring lunch and cupcakes for the whole department, as he planned to skive off work until the afternoon to get some errands done.

Colin's personal packing was easy enough, even the console and games went without comment since Bond had shamelessly ordered himself copies of everything he liked, and even bought Colin a copy of one of Bond's favourites so they could play together online. Soon enough they were all ready to go, Bond taking the luggage while the boffins got the boxes.

"I called the service," said Bond smugly. They had same driver as last time, and he immediately took Colin's box and led them to the car.

"It's good to see you back," said the driver cheerfully. "I think there's been a betting pool that something terrible had happened, but it looks like you're both fine?"

"We're both fine," said Q. "I needed to finish a prototype that kept getting interrupted, so Colin came to help out while I worked in my home workshop."

"I'm the cook," said Bond teasingly. "This is Martin, by the way. Martin, this is Colin, Q's assistant."

"You were on mandatory post-mission leave," said Q dryly. He turned to the driver and added, "But yes, Martin, do make him bring you lunch sometime."

The driver laughed and got the trunk loaded neatly up. "Will I be taking you home later? If I am, I can keep Colin's things in the trunk for you all day."

"That would be great," said Q, before Colin could demur. "We're going over to his for video games after work."

They talked about games all the way to Six, and had become nearly friends by the time they arrived to find Moneypenny waiting. "M wants to see you," she said.

"Good morning to you, too," said Bond. "I'm not really here yet."

"M wants Q more than you, anyway," she replied. "Go on, get out of here so I can pretend I didn't see you."

"I can help Colin take the boxes up," offered Martin. "I've got clearance for the main areas."

"That would be wonderful of you," said Q. "Bond, make sure he gets a cupcake at lunch."

"Will do," said Bond, taking himself off to where the Aston Martin was safely parked, just waiting for his return. 

Q pretended not to hear him cooing at it, and followed Moneypenny to the elevators instead. Martin and Colin chattered away happily while they headed to the bank of elevators that went down into Q-branch.

"So," said Eve, "how was it?"

"Colin will be fine," said Q. "He wants a flying monkey of his own."

Eve laughed. "Anne will be happy to have him back," she said suggestively.

"Good, maybe she'll finally ask him to move in with her," said Q. They gossiped on the way up, giving Q a broad overview of all that had happened while they were gone. Once they got into her office, she made a pot of tea and caught him up on the major missions, then sent him in to see M with a tray.

Q had one of the tablet prototypes in his bag, and was primed to use it to justify the time off when M threw him off his game.

"Good job with Colin," said M. "Here, set that down, I'll be mother."

Q blinked and sat in the leather chair, letting M deal with the tea. "He seems pretty well-adjusted, Bond and Andy both said he's back to normal to their, you know, monster senses," said Q.

"Andy?" said M sharply.

"That's our pet, um, flying monkey," said Q. "It plays lookout at the flat for us, and it's got a cat bed in my office so it can come find me."

"Ah," said M, voice full of meaning. "I trust you'll give full disclosure if it's warranted." He handed Q a cup of tea, to which he'd added five lumps of sugar.

Q chuckled. "You can come down to my office sometime to meet it," he offered. "I can call it from the flat through, um, some kind of monster connection thing."

"I'll do that," said M.

Q sipped his tea, finding it nearly sweet enough, and settled back into the chair. "Was there something else?"

M chuckled and sipped his own tea. "You know, of all the things I inherited with this job, Project Monster was the most unexpected."

"I'll bet," said Q. He paused, considering, then offered, "I saw them when I was a boy, once. That's why Bond read me in."

"There's a cryptic note alluding to that fact in your file, from the previous M," he said. "You've adapted quite well."

"I had good motivation," said Q, blushing a little. "Not just Bond, or even our pet, but just knowing I wasn't actually suffering from paranoid delusions."

M nodded knowingly. "I'll come by Q-branch sometime to meet this pet."

Q nodded back, taking that for a dismissal, and stood. "There'll be cupcakes today; I'm making Bond feed the minions."

M chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind," he said. "You're dismissed, go on. I'll be down if I can get away."

"Yes, sir," said Q. He wandered out to extend the invitation for cupcakes to Moneypenny.

"Go on, I'm sure they've all hugged Colin half to death by now," she teased.

"I'm going," said Q. He finished his tea and set the empty cup and saucer on her desk. "Colin makes better tea, anyway," he teased, getting out of arm's reach posthaste.

She laughed rather than protesting, which he took as a good sign. He texted Colin and Bond both that the meeting hadn't been anything big, and headed down to his department feeling quite cheerful indeed. When he arrived, Colin was just putting a steaming cuppa by his workstation, accompanied by a plate of the jam-filled biscuits Bond had made last night.

"Everything's put away, sir, and I've started email triage, it's not too bad," said Colin brightly. "Anne's coming down for lunch, Mr. Bond promised to bring plenty."

"M might also join us," warned Q. "He's pleased with our progress, though."

"I gave the third tablet prototype to Rayan for testing, that was right?" said Colin, biting his lip and avoiding the subject of their redoubtable leader.

Q nodded. "I've got the second one in my bag here, we'll keep that one for ourselves," he said. "I'm going to work on a fourth to send off with 007 to be tested to destruction."

Colin laughed. "Yeah, he's good at that. Not that the data's always that useful, I mean, who else would feed their gun to a komodo dragon?"

"You never know, maybe 006 will end up feeding his to an alligator while he's in America," said Divya, coming over. "Can I steal Colin for a cuppa?"

Q laughed. "Yes, go on, you can spoil everyone with one cup apiece, and then I'll want a refill and to finish this email."

"Yes, sir," said Colin cheerfully, leading a migration of minions over to the tea room.

Q snapped a photo to show Bond. "I bet you'll miss his tea as much as he misses your food," texted Q.

"Of course I will, Colin's tea is magical," replied Bond. "Cupcakes ordered and plenty of food to go around, a little bird told me we might need extra."

Q chuckled and spent a few minutes filling Bond in and sipping his tea, checking the emails Colin had flagged as containing news rather than work requests and passing anything of interest there off to Bond, too. Bond wrote back with what news he had of his own, which wasn't much since it was considered bad form to mention Project Monster in anything but the most secure communications.

Colin brought over a fresh cup of tea, but nearly dropped it when a familiar shivery feeling came over both of them.

"Just be calm," said Q softly, taking the cup carefully and setting it down. He called Bond and said casually, "I'm guessing that wasn't you that just walked into my office?"

"It wasn't, but it will be. Call whoever else is in the building, Q," he replied, then rang off.

Q pulled up his Double-O tracking software and then called 003, glad it was someone he knew. He tried to ignore the curious glances they were getting from the other minions, but the feeling had been far too strong to be Andy, especially from this distance. "003, could you come down to Q-branch? I need someone to help with a light out in my office."

"Heard and understood," she said, hanging up just as Bond had.

Q nodded to Colin, then turned to his workstation and pulled up the cctv from his office, which turned out to be vexingly pointless. The brightly-lit holiday decorations were long gone, and whatever was in there had pulled the shadows around itself, making the image murky and useless. 

"This had better not be another of Bond's exes," muttered Q irritably.

Colin snorted, some colour returning to his face. "H-how many have you met now?" he asked.

"Just the one, Bond's been avoiding the rest. 003 helped us test my new alarm system," said Q, being deliberately vague, "and as long as we do the proper maintenance, it's very effective."

"I guess 007 hasn't been in your office to help in too long," said Colin. He looked longingly at the tea on his desk, but seemed rooted to the spot. Q gave him a nudge.

Q sipped his own tea, letting the perfection of it calm him while Colin darted over to get his cup, coming back to stand even closer. "The system here is necessarily less secure, since the other agents need to come and go at will."

003 glided in looking cheerfully dangerous and patted Q on the shoulder in passing. "I'll just check that thing for you," she said, heading for his office.

Q shook himself and put in the code to unlock the door for her remotely. She slipped in and the cctv got darker and acquired a distinctive static pattern.

"All right," said Divya, coming over, "is there a secret entrance in your office? Or did you invent teleportation but it's got some hideous inherent flaw like copying the person twice or turning people into The Fly?" she asked, jaw set.

Q laughed. "Definitely not teleportation," he said. "I really, truly cannot tell you what's going on in my office, though."

She harrumphed, peering at the dark, staticky screen where there was just a vague hint of movement among the shadows. "That's not very useful," she said, sounding surprised.

Q chuckled. "It's not like I could have it onscreen in a room full of people who haven't got clearance if it was," he said wryly. "I'm going to have to work on some extra security, though."

003's monster form was something that Divya probably wouldn't want to see. Nor Colin, for that matter. She was all tentacles and eyes and mouths, far less human than Bond or even Octopussy. Q had made a mental note not to make a single Lovecraft joke in her presence, despite her apparent good humour about it all.

That in mind, Q closed the cctv window and locked it away from anyone without clearance for both his office and Project Monster, which was very few people indeed.

"So, about that invitation," said Colin, his voice small and scared.

Q patted his shoulder. "Of course," said Q. "As long as you need." 

They all stood together, tense and worried, not a single person in Q-branch pretending to do anything but watch the closed door of Q's office.

Q nearly jumped out of his skin when the door opened, and out came 007, 003, and a trussed-up giant of a man.

"Q," said 007, "I'll need the special interrogation room, can you call down to holding?"

"Will do, 007. Thank you for responding so quickly," Q replied, swallowing down the urge to hug Bond hard and bury himself in his lover's arms, not to mention checking him over for wounds.

"Good job, calling us so fast," said 003 cheerfully. "We'll meet later about that security matter."

Q nodded, and they prodded their prisoner into motion while the minions stared.

"All right, back to work," snapped Q, phone in hand. He called down to the head of security, fortunately someone who was read in on Project Monster, and gave the code for whatever was heading down his way. "007 and 003 are with him," said Q.

"That's a relief, anyway," said the man, ringing off immediately afterward, presumably to do his job.

Q sent an email to the people he felt would be relevant to their meeting, and then found himself a chair and sat heavily.

Colin brought his tea over. "D'you think it was because of me?" he asked, biting his lip.

"I'm sure you're not the only reason," said Q wryly, "but honestly I have no idea. You saw the files, we have a lot of data and no conclusions."

Colin nodded, sipping his own cuppa. "I guess the timing just seems weird, but it's also you back after a long time, and 007, and even 003 was out of the country for ages and only got back, um."

"Yesterday," said Q, finishing Colin's thought. "But I doubt she reported in on a Sunday, none of them ever do unless they're carried in."

Colin chuckled. "Stubborn, the whole Double-O division."

Q's phone rang, and he sighed. "All right, I've got to go downstairs. You stay here, yeah?"

"I'll be fine," said Colin. "But, um, not in your office."

Q chuckled and stood, finishing his tea and handing Colin the cup. "Not in my office," he said. "Keep the minions in tea and keep wrangling my email, the rest will wait."

"Yes, sir," said Colin. He relaxed a little more when a couple of normal field agents slipped into the room, trying to look casual while they guarded the geeks.

Q headed down to interrogation to find out just what kind of monster they'd caught.

When he got there, they were all watching as a huge brick of a man paced around the room, scraping at the white walls with metallic claws, squinting against the relentless light. This room had been designed with monsters in mind, so it was extra-durable, brightly lit, and had nothing that would cast a shadow big enough to move through. Q swallowed as their prisoner turned slitted eyes toward the two-way mirror, nostrils flaring.

"I smell your little mate, Bond," said a rough, deep voice. "He smells tasty." The man smiled and it grew wide and rough, and his teeth were like iron spikes. Q imagined them spotted with blood like rust and shuddered.

"You'll never know," said Bond calmly. "Is he why you're here?"

"Of course he is," said the monster, his body shifting as well. His skin became rough and almost scaly, his hair vanished, and he seemed somehow even more solid than before. A true brute, even more made for destruction than Bond. "Everyone wants your nimble-fingered fucktoy."

"Classy," muttered 003, rolling her eyes.

Q snorted. "Who are you, then?" he asked, cutting to the chase. He had no patience for all this posturing.

"I'm Hinx," said the monster, head moving back and forth as he scented the air. "But I don't matter."

"What is the point of all this?" said Q irritably, though he was mostly being rhetorical.

Hinx smirked. "You'll find out soon enough," he said. He came rushing at the mirror, but it was built to withstand monsters and merely shuddered at the impact. "Can't keep me here forever."

M led them out into the hall and into what looked like a conference room and was probably for a different sort of interrogation. "All right, report."

They told the story, Q getting to hear about the fight and being glad that he hadn't remembered that 003's tentacles were also venomous like a jellyfish back when she was breaking into his flat.

"What will you do with him?" asked Q, biting his lip. Hinx wasn't like some foreign spy, he was clearly not safe to send to prison with the other inmates.

"I don't think that's something you need to worry about," said M grimly. "Concentrate instead on re-lighting your office."

"We should try to make somewhere the monsters can arrive if they need to retreat through shadows," said Q, getting surprised looks from both Double-Os. "James was injured, it was good for everyone that he had somewhere safe he could get help. It might happen again with any of our agents."

003 nodded as if making a decision. "Q cares about all his agents, and he makes a good point. If there was somewhere we knew we could show up, we might be less inclined to vanish when we were hurt."

"Depending on how close it was to Medical," said Bond wryly.

M sighed. "I'm aware of the contentious relationship between Project Monster and Medical, but I am working on it. All right, Q, you three are authorised to come up with a proposal for how to make a haven for our errant Double-Os."

"Will do," said Q, standing. "Is that all?"

"You're all dismissed. Hinx will be dealt with," said M.

"Come on, let's see if lunch has arrived yet," said Bond. "There'll be cupcakes."

003 accompanied them back to Q-branch, where lunch and cupcakes both had indeed arrived, and the minions were milling about, uncertain if they were allowed to descend before their fearless leader returned. The mundanity of getting food and tea and everyone settled had let Q forget that a fight had happened in his office, one that had probably ruined any number of delicate experiments. Except when he followed Bond inside the room looked suspiciously normal.

"How did you subdue him without knocking anything over?" asked Q, following Bond to the couch.

"We mostly fought in the shadows," said 003, taking one of the chairs. She'd been very happy to claim a plate of food and cupcakes, especially when she heard Colin would make them all a pot of tea. "He hadn't quite made it all the way into your office, even with brute force."

Q set down his plate. "I'm going to make sure Andy's all right, I'd hate for it to have been bothered at home while we were here," he said. He went over to Andy's cat bed and called out to him; it had grown easier with practice, and so it wasn't long at all before he heard a familiar, sleepy trill.

"Yumyums?" asked Andy, sticking its head out of the opening.

Q laughed. "Yes, yumyums. I take it all's quiet at home?" He reached in and let Andy cling to his hand, then transferred his little pet to the inside of his cardigan to snuggle.

"Quiiiiiet," trilled Andy. It stuck its head out and sniffed, eyes narrowing. "Bad monster here?"

"There was," confirmed Q. He sat next to Bond and texted Colin to see if there were any of the vegetarian options left.

"We took care of it," said Bond, reaching over to scratch behind Andy's ears.

"Saaaafe," trilled Andy, sinking into the embrace of Q's cardigan, though it made sure to keep its head in petting range for Bond.

003 chuckled. "I've never seen one of those little eye-spies so happy," she said. "I didn't even know they could make such good pets."

Q shrugged. "I expect it depends on how they're treated, Andy's grown happier and healthier in our care."

"Everyone wants a flying monkey," said Colin, coming in with a tray of tea, his own food, and another plate with some treats for Andy.

There was laughter, and teasing, and they were all well on their way to recovering from the incident when Eve and M arrived. There was a bit of shuffling with chairs and Colin making a fresh pot of tea, but soon enough everyone was seated with food and tea.

"You can come out, pet," said Q, coaxing Andy with a bit of paneer. "Our boss wants to meet you, and you know Eve."

It peeked out, snagging the cheese, and munched while staring curiously with wide eyes. "Whatshisname?" it whispered.

"I'm M," he said, looking bemused. "You're Andy?"

"Yeeesss?" it said, climbing out a little more.

Q urged it to show its full form to M. "Andy's been a good addition to our household," said Q firmly.

"Goodhome," said Andy, looking from James to Q to M. It stretched out one hand toward Q's plate, and Q gently steered it toward its own instead, whispering about spicy and kissing its soft, fuzzy head.

M chuckled. "It gets along with your cats?" He plucked up a chunk of cheese from his own plate. "Mine's all mild," he reassured Q, before proffering it.

Andy streeetched out to snatch it, but it was grinning and clearly not worried for its safety, really. "Meowmeows good."

"It does," said Bond, stroking its narrow back. "They groom it, and it uses its little fingers to scratch for them."

"Nosharps," said Andy, waving one blunt-fingered hand at M, and then making a point of eating so its blunt teeth could be seen.

Q chuckled. "It's learning quickly how to reassure the humans of its harmlessness," he said.

"And you're certain of its loyalty?" asked M, blunt as ever.

"Goodhome!" protested Andy. "Goodscout."

"Good monster," assured Q, shifting it back into Q's lap with its plate balanced on the other knee. "You're safe with us."

"Nosquish," said Andy firmly, giving M some serious side eye.

M chuckled. "No, no, I wouldn't dare. Q's known for his attachment to all of his pets," he said, giving Bond an amused grin.

"And my creative means of revenge," said Q dryly.

The conversation turned work-related after that, coming around to the problem of the monsters' apparent interest in Q and what to do about it. Andy ate a few more big bites, and then crawled back into Q's cardigan to snuggle, clearly done with humans for the moment.

Once M, Eve, and 003 had cleared out, Q shamelessly curled into Bond. "I am so ready for today to be over," he said.

"I'll come get you two soon enough," said James. "I'm going to check our house out and take Andy home, then come back here for my meeting with M, all right?"

Q pouted for a moment, then nodded. "Yes, all right, but don't be long. I really do need to start installing those lights in here."

"Of course, love," said Bond, though he made no move to get out from under Q.

"I'll clear up," said Colin, grabbing the tray and loading it up with the detritus of the meal, leaving the last cup in the pot for Q.

Q smiled as he left. "He really is the best assistant," said Q, pulling Bond's head down for a more serious bit of kissing.

Bond indulged them both for long moments, until Andy woke up and let out a little protest at being squished between them. "Mouthpets, ugh."

They laughed and parted ways, Bond putting Andy up on his shoulder and Q redirecting the few new lamps they'd already added, so there was a pool of shadow big enough for him to travel through.

"Back in a tick, my mate," said Bond, giving him one last kiss.

"Keep us safe, my monster," said Q. He headed over to the shelves and started pulling out some extra lighting units, trying not to let the sensation of Bond's shadow-walking bother him too much. He kept an eye out on the corner, and it wasn't long at all before Bond emerged, smiling and monkey-free.

"All's quiet at home," he said, straightening his cuffs. "Need me for the lights?"

"Just these," said Q, getting Bond to help move the big lamps back to eliminate the extra shadows. "There, nothing else big can come in here, anyway."

"I'll report to M, and be back for you both by five," said Bond. "All right?"

"Why don't you go by HR and invite Anne to dinner?" asked Q. "She might not make it, but I bet she'll be happy to have been asked."

"Hm, maybe," said Bond, looking impish. "I'll have to think on what I could make for four and half."

Q chuckled and stole one last kiss. "Go on, my monster. We'll be safe here now."

"I know," said Bond, heading out. 

Rayan passed him on the way in with a question about the tablet prototype, and just like that Q's day was back on track.

They got a good amount of work done by five, enough that Q was content to let Bond chivvy them into closing up and leaving. Anne had taken a rain check, but she'd stopped by Q-branch on her break to see Colin and thank Q personally for taking care of him. That distracted the minions with all new gossip -- although they were aware Colin had a girlfriend in admin somewhere, none of them had quite pictured the gorgeous, statuesque Assistant Head of HR.

"How did you get her to go out with you?" asked Rayan, staring at the door as if she'd appear again just to vex him.

Colin laughed and blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't. She asked me, I was just smart enough to say yes."

Q looked very smug. "I might have told her that Colin deserved his press," he said, wrapping up his work as it was already half four. "But only because she asked."

"Did she really?" asked Colin, looking delighted. "Thank you for putting in a good word."

"She makes you happy," said Q with a shrug. "You make me tea."

"And keep Q-branch running," said Rayan with a laugh. "Yeah, all right, I can see it. Colin deserves all good things."

Q smiled, catlike and smug. "It's good you all realise it, too."

"On that note," said Colin, red as a beet, "One last cuppa?"

"Yeah, go on, treat them to tea service as long as you're ready at five," said Q. They'd been much more open about appreciating Colin all day, which Q put down to having had to do without for over two weeks.

The rest of the work day went smoothly enough, and Q and Colin were ready to go when Bond strolled in looking smug as anything. "All set?"

"Yep," said Q. "Going by Colin's first?" They fell into step and headed for the elevator together, feeling comfortable with Colin as part of the group, if not particularly happy about why he was still going home with them.

Bond nodded. "I want to sniff around, and this way Colin can decide if he wants to trade out any of his possessions."

"I might grab some different clothes, and maybe my sheets if you really don't mind me doing laundry?" said Colin, looking sheepish.

"Of course not," said Q. "I'm happy to save you the quarters, I know you hate the laundry room in your building."

They chatted about mundane things, meeting Martin by the car and getting his assurance that he knew the way now.

Colin's flat was undisturbed, though Bond made faces that Q suspected meant there'd been a spy or two snooping around. Q helped Colin strip the bed and repack his suitcase, feeling oddly parental about it all, which he'd use to tease Bond later. They made quick work of it, checking the kitchen for anything that needed to be binned and making Bond deal with that, as well.

"Don't worry," said Q with a smile, "I'll make sure he makes you a care package when you finally do move back in."

Colin laughed a little wanly. "Yeah, I know. It's just, you know, after today..."

"Yeah," said Q, "I know. And like I said, you're a good guest. You can stay."

"I'm borrowing this," said Bond, who was nosing in Colin's bookshelves while they finished up. "And this."

"Borrow away," said Colin, laughing a little more genuinely this time. "Here, try this one, too."

A small stack of books later, and Colin was ready to close up and go. "It's a good thing I don't have a cat," he said.

"Or a flying monkey," teased Q. "Our flat's pretty much at capacity with you there."

"I have to admit, it's pretty hard not to want an Andy of my own," said Colin. 

They stopped by the bins so Bond could dispose of the detritus of Colin's neglected kitchen, and Bond said, "He's surprised me, most of the eye-spies don't have as much personality. I wonder now if it's just because they live in terrible situations."

"Not all of them, I'm sure," said Q. "Andy told me about it, a little. I think some of them would bite your finger off rather than let you pet and coddle them."

"So we just got lucky," said Bond with a chuckle.

Q kissed Bond sweetly. "We did, though to be fair Andy was being awfully adorable even before I tried to pet him."

Bond laughed and held the door for them while Martin loaded the trunk back up, and they piled in and headed back home. Colin started the laundry while Bond started dinner, and Q took care of their pets and chose a movie for later. It wasn't perfect, but it was good enough that Q didn't mind it lasting a little longer.

* * *

It took three and a half more weeks before everything settled down enough for Colin to spend the weekend away, though Anne confided in Q that he'd mostly be at hers for the duration. Q knew Bond was planning something for their free weekend; he'd steadfastly refused to be sent on a mission, for one thing.

To that end, Q made every effort to finish up his work and shut down in time to go home at half five on Friday, and he was waiting with his bag and a warm grin when Bond sauntered into Q-branch. He'd let Colin go, handing him off to Anne at five on the dot, and the rest of Q-branch was finishing up and handing things off to the sparser night crew. 

"Bang on time," said Bond, sounding very satisfied with life. "Just what I like to see."

"Don't push it, 007," said Q dryly. "All set to go?"

Bond claimed a kiss, which Q allowed as much for his own sake. "Car's waiting," he said. He took Q's bag and offered Q his arm, flirty and playful.

Q took it and kissed his cheek. "Lead on, then."

They were quiet on the ride down, Bond plying Q with kisses and conveniently preventing any questions. "Home first," Bond assured him, handing him down into the Aston Martin and putting his bag in the trunk.

Q buckled up and took a careful look at Bond's face when he got in, seeing that anticipation but also a certain determination that made Q give up on the idea of spoiling his own surprise. "I'm all yours," he said instead, and was rewarded with a quick, startled grin from his lover.

"I assure you, the reverse is also true," said Bond, as he got them on the road. 

The ride was quiet, Q letting his brain wind down after the long day. He didn't have to keep Colin company or worry about anything for just a little while, instead letting himself transition from work to home mentally as well as physically. He was smiling and calm when Bond parked the car, and they shared a very warm kiss before getting out and heading inside.

"I've laid out your suit," said Bond, tossing his keys in the dish with forced casualness.

Q grinned. "Finally taking me out on that date like you keep threatening?" he asked, slipping off his shoes by the door and leaving a trail of clothing down the hall, calling, "Feed the pets!" after himself.

Bond's laughter followed him, and Q took a detour for a quick shower, giving Bond time to take care of the household and still get to watch Q dress, one of his favourite pastimes.

"Hm, seeing you like this, I almost want to stay home," said Bond, waylaying him on the way out of the bathroom, hands roaming over Q's damp, flushed skin.

"Yes, but now I want to see where you're taking me, so it's too late," Q teased back, stealing a kiss and tugging him into the bedroom. Bond had already gathered up Q's discarded clothing, and added fresh pants and socks to the clothes on the bed.

"This isn't my usual suit," said Q, not displeased. He'd let Bond drag him to a tailor a few times, but he'd been too distracted to wonder what had become of the results.

"You'll look divine, though he still wants a final fitting," said Bond. He stepped over to the bed and grabbed the pants, form-fitting boxer briefs in a very deep blue-green, then knelt to help Q into them. 

Q grinned and stroked Bond's hair, laughing when Bond paused to kiss his cock and mouth just a little at the head. "That is not the way to get me to leave the house," he scolded.

"Just a little appetiser," said Bond, unrepentant. He did tuck Q away into the pants, though, grabbing the socks to do those, too, while he was down there.

Q let himself be manhandled, and moreover let himself enjoy being coddled and cared for. It was still a very new feeling to him, to have someone he not only trusted in his life and his space, but who liked to take care of him in every possible way, from food to sex to protection. "As long as you're promising the full course for later," said Q fondly.

Bond gave him a very heated look. "Oh, yes, I don't intend to let you out of bed much at all this weekend."

"Except for tonight," said Q teasingly.

"Except tonight," confirmed Bond. He held the trousers for Q to step into, sliding them up Q's legs but not buttoning the fly just yet. They fit quite closely, but moved well, the fine fabric gliding over Q's skin. Bond picked up the shirt and helped Q into it, buttoning it while standing very close indeed. "I'm going to love getting you out of all this later," said Bond, voice low.

"I assure you, the feeling is entirely mutual," said Q, voice embarrassingly breathy. Q was hard now, cock demurely restrained by the boxer briefs but obvious enough with the trousers open. 

Bond fondled him shamelessly while tucking him in, finally closing the flies and snagging the braces he'd insisted on in lieu of a belt. They kissed as Bond attached them to the trousers tailored for that purpose, adjusting them carefully to the perfect fit. Cufflinks were next, rich blue-green labradorite set in silver which Bond had assured Q had significance for him as a monster. Q loved the way the stones caught the light, and had been taken with the gift from the moment he'd opened them.

"You look very handsome," Bond assured him, stealing another kiss. The tie came next, along with a matching tie pin, and then a waistcoat over the top. "I knew you'd be suited to these."

"You never wear them," Q protested, though he secretly loved the way it hugged his slender frame.

"I'm not built for it," said Bond, smoothing his hands appreciatively over Q's waist before kissing him.

Q sighed into the kiss, allowing himself to be chivvied into the slim-cut jacket, buttoning it and admiring the whole ensemble in the mirror. Bond straightened the pocket square. "Beautiful," he said, grinning proudly.

"Handsome," Q corrected him. Q fixed his hair as much as he could be bothered with, then allowed Bond to lead him back out to the door and put his shoes on. The cats and Andy mobbed them for a bit of attention, but Q didn't mind it one bit, squatting down to scritch fuzzy noggins and letting Andy climb him and coo over his new finery.

Once the pets were placated, they paused to lint roll each other, the dark blue fabric of Q's suit showing the cat hair even worse than Bond's grey. Q admired the subtle green windowpane check with a smile, secretly smug that the tailor had helped him overrule Bond's plainer choice.

"Very handsome," said Bond, retrieving his keys and making sure they both had phones and wallets and all that, including checking that his pistol was working, loaded, and had the safety on. He tucked that away and then unlocked the door and said, "Shall we?"

"Still all yours," teased Q, letting Bond usher him out. 

"Forever, I hope," said Bond, pulling him into a kiss in the elevator.

Q melted into him. "Of course forever, my monster mate," he said fondly.

"My mate," said Bond, as if he still couldn't quite believe he was so fortunate.

Q kissed him again, warm to his toes to see James Bond looking at him like he was a wonder and a miracle instead of a nerd and a basket case. "Come on, take me out before I drag you right back to bed."

The elevator pinged open and Bond got him buckled back into the Aston Martin, face like a kid at Christmas now. Q let the excitement buoy him, too, so that he was grinning along with Bond as they took to the streets driving just this side of legally, or possibly just the wrong side of legally but too smoothly for anyone to object. It took no time at all to get to a very fancy hotel, where a valet took their car away and Bond led him into the Michelin-starred restaurant on the first floor.

"I'm impressed you got us in here," said Q, looking around the packed room full of glittering diners.

Bond chuckled. "That's one skill that comes in handy both for work and home," he teased. They were led to their seats and their waiter came to recite the specials and get their initial drinks orders, with Q letting Bond choose for him while he settled into the comfortable chair.

Once he was gone, Q said warmly, "I can't believe you knew their drinks menu by heart."

Bond chuckled. "I looked it up online, and as soon as I saw the tea-flavoured one I knew what you'd want," he admitted. "I want the evening to be perfect for you, love, so you'll let me take you out again."

Q kissed him softly. "I'll let you take me out again, James," he said. "Well, unless the waiter turns out to be a monster assassin or something, in which case we are never going out again."

Bond laughed. "Nope, I don't smell a single monster here," he said, not quite teasing though his tone was light, as though they were having one of those conversations in couples code.

"Well, I spy at least one," replied Q slyly, playing along and giving Bond a wink. "But you're my favourite, so I'll make an exception."

James took his hand and kissed it, then nodded to the menu Q had laid out in front of him. "Any idea what you'd like to eat?"

"Oh, all of it," said Q with a laugh. "It sounds amazing, honestly. I wouldn't think I'd want fish with how much of it you bring home when you're cooking, but I'm thinking there's a lot of seafood on here that appeals to me."

They talked about the food and in the end Bond ordered seafood for them both, enough dishes to make the waiter's eyebrows rise, though he wisely didn't object to his little table for two turning into a tab enough for three or four. Bond could eat more than most, but Q had a feeling that he'd ordered so much specifically to give Q a taste of everything.

"No wine," said Q, when it seemed like that, too, was going on their tab. "For me, anyway. I'll stick to these cocktails, they're delicious."

The waiter nodded. "And you, sir?"

"The same," said James. "Though no more than three." He could hold more liquor than most, but even with all that food he wasn't likely to want to risk Q to driving intoxicated.

"Yes, sir," said the waiter, taking himself away.

Q leaned in for another kiss, then sat back and sipped his cocktail. "You're spoiling me rotten," he said with a grin.

"That's my intention," he said with a grin. "So, speaking of spoiling you, do you think we'll have time this weekend to go see that new film?"

"Oh, um, wow," said Q, sitting back and taking a big drink of his cocktail. "You know, I've never seen a movie in the theatre."

"I suppose not," said Bond, a soft, wry little smile on his full lips. "Can I take you?"

Q finished off his cocktail, licking foam off his lips. "We'd have to bring Andy," he said, shoving the fear away by gripping Bond's hand and thinking of anything else. "It'd never forgive us for seeing a story without it."

Bond squeezed back, fingers warm and familiar against Q's. "We can call it to us once we're in the dark theatre. You don't want them to think you're smuggling in a puppy."

Q smiled softly and squeezed his hand. "You're right, of course," he said. "If we get out of bed long enough, I'd love to see a matinee with you." Leaving while it was still light out would help his equilibrium, he hoped.

"Sounds like a good plan," said Bond, voice low and sensual now. "I'll try not to wear you out too much."

"Or let me get too hungover," teased Q. The waiter had brought him a refill along with their first course.

Bond chuckled. "We'll have a bit more food before my second and his third," he told the waiter, who agreed readily and left again.

Q leaned forward to explore the offerings, a plate of oysters on the half shell, a bowl of soup each, and something fried with crab in it that Q remembered wanting to try but couldn't remember the name of. He grabbed one of those first, finding them still hot enough to make him laugh and set it down on the plate in front of him.

"Try an oyster first, at least they're in ice," teased Bond, though he stole Q's hand after and kissed his fingers in sympathy.

Q chuckled and did so, adding lemon and horseradish and finding it cool and delicious, if a bit strange going down. "I've never had these before," said Q, feeling shy all over again at the many experiences his fear had denied him. "You can't really get this as takeaway."

"I've always loved fresh oysters," said Bond, lighting up the way Q did when he was talking about a book or movie Bond hadn't seen yet.

Q's heart contracted, and he leaned in to kiss Bond very soundly indeed.

"Not that I mind, but what was that for?" asked Bond. 

Q kissed him again. "For being exactly who you are," he said with a mischievous little smile.

"All right," said Bond, clearly still confused but willing to go with it. "Anyway, you should try them a few different ways, see which you like best." Bond tipped a little of his gin martini into one before passing it over.

"You'll feed me all the things you love eventually," said Q, watching as Bond prepared another for himself. 

They toasted the rough shells at each other and slurped down their treats, Q managing not to cough at the smooth burn of gin. It made the whole experience different, Bond was right, but it wasn't going to be his favourite. He tried the next one with cocktail sauce, but wasn't fond of the way it hid some of the subtle flavour of the oyster itself. The plain one was pretty good, and another with just lemon came after that, Bond having his own the same way each time. 

"Oh, this is my favourite," said Q, looking sad that there were only two left.

Bond chuckled. "We can get more, if you like," he said, adding lemon to one and lemon and gin to the other for himself.

Q laughed and accepted his final treat. "Not tonight," he said, "but some other time, please. I hear there's even bars where they serve nothing but these and alcohol."

"Well, not nothing but," said James with a grin, "but I do know a good oyster bar, yes."

"Brilliant," said Q. He was already warming up to the idea of nights out as well as in, afternoons at the movies and evenings strolling hand in hand, unconcerned because anything in the shadows was completely outclassed by the man at his side. 

Bond gave him a look of such delight that Q thought it would be worth every jittery moment.

Q picked up the little dough puff on his plate and said, "All right, these should be cool now." The inside was full of creamy crab and cheese with a bright spike of green onion and a few other, subtler flavours Q couldn't quite place. He mmmed as he chewed, giving Bond a happy-kitten look.

Bond tried one, too, and looked pleased. "Very good," he said.

"Oysters were better," said Q, but he snagged another crab puff anyway. "These are still delicious, though."

Bond laughed, and Q laughed, and the rest of their evening went much the same way. They shared everything except their drinks, though Bond did steal a sip of one of Q's at some point just so he could make a face and declare he liked his tea hot and egg-foam-free. They stuffed themselves on little plates of seafood until no more were forthcoming, and then Q made room to try two of the desserts, a delightful jasmine tea mousse, and a classic chocolate lava cake with a chili-hot twist.

They left with Q tipsy but not too drunk for what he hoped was coming next, and Bond barely even buzzed, having stopped drinking halfway through their hours-long meal. The drive home was a warm haze of chatter about nothing, and Q draped himself over Bond as they headed inside. Their flat was the same as always, cats coming to greet them and Andy flying over to whisper something smugly into Bond's ear.

"Have a seat, love," said Bond, guiding Q into the living room. "I'll make us some actual tea and then we can get you out of that suit."

Q chuckled. "Probably wise to wait a few, I'm very tipsy but it feels amazing. You know I love you, don't you?"

"And I love you, my darling," said Bond, taking Q's jacket before helping him sit. Bond stole Q's tie after that, removing it and the tie pin during another lovely kiss. Bond abandoned the disheveled Q for the kitchen where he no doubt spoiled their pets just as much.

Q didn't mind. He undid the top two buttons of his shirt and was glad no one else saw how much effort it took to get his socks off. He sat back and thought about how delightful the evening had been, how good his life was most of the time now, thanks in part to Bond. He considered the cufflinks and decided he was too drunk to handle undone cuffs and a cup of tea together without disaster, then looked over at his well-lit bookshelves with a smile. Bond's ridiculous snow globe was there, along with other souvenirs from his life and travels that he'd unearthed from storage or accumulated more recently. They fit despite their incongruity, side by side with Q's collectible statuettes and action figures, their books commingled the same way their lives were.

Q was fuzzily contemplating getting up to shake his snow globe and watch the glitter fall through the coloured lights when Bond came back. He was carrying a laden tea tray, and his smile looked unutterably fond. "You're completely plastered, aren't you?"

Q laughed. "I am not, or else I wouldn't still want sex," he protested, but he only mostly meant it.

"You'll feel better after some tea," said Bond. He stripped out of his own jacket and tie, cufflinks off and set aside with his and Q's tie pins, and then he took Q's cufflinks and gently rolled his cuffs. 

Q melted into him and made a little happy purring sound. "You're taking such good care of me, you always do."

"I hope you'll always let me," said Bond. He paused, looking uncertain for a moment, then reached over to the tray and snagged something from behind the teapot.

Q blinked in confusion at the small velvet box. "More cufflinks?" he asked, making to roll his sleeves back down.

Bond laughed and opened it. Inside there was a beautiful pair of rings in deep blue with silver designs chased into the metal, familiar loops and whorls that made Q's heart melt. "Doctor Who rings?" he asked, looking up at James with big, hopeful eyes.

"If you'll agree to marry me," said Bond, picking up the smaller one and holding it out. "I do hope this qualifies as a properly geeky choice?"

Q kissed him, deep and greedy, and gasped out between them, "Yes, finally, yes."

Bond slipped the ring onto his finger and pulled Q into his lap for more kisses. "I almost thought I should wait until you were sober, but I couldn't make myself," he said.

Q giggled and cuddled up. "I don't need to be sober to know I want to be yours forever," said Q. "I can't believe you got yourself one, too."

"I want everyone to know I'm yours, when I can wear it," said James, kissing him warmly. "I looked for Lord of the Rings ones, but they were all modelled after the One Ring and that seemed ill-advised."

Q laughed again, delighted to have converted his lover so readily to his nerdy 'stories.' "That's all right," he said, admiring the ring on his hand. "These go with your eyes better."

Bond chuckled and kissed him some more, hands working at Q's buttons until his clothes were all undone. "Have one cup of tea with me," he said, catching up Q's hands where they were failing to undo Bond's buttons, "then we'll make love."

Q hmphed, but he secretly did want the tea he could smell brewing behind him. "All right, but I want to be on top so I can look at you while I ride your cock."

Bond groaned. "One small cup," he said with a rough laugh, shifting Q away long enough to pour for them both and pass over not only the cup but a TARDIS-blue cupcake with silver dragees in the frosting.

"Is this what Andy was hiding for you?" asked Q, getting the other ring out of the box and commandeering Bond's hand long enough to slip it in place.

Bond nodded. "It agreed to help when I promised it was a good surprise," he said. "It's very loyal to you."

"You all are," said Q with a grin, "except the cats are more loyal to you now."

Bond chuckled. "Oh, I don't know, I think they'd defend you if it came down to that."

Q sipped his tea and mmed thoughtfully. "Maybe," he said. "They are pointy on five ends."

"And the sixth end isn't all that pleasant, either," said Bond, making a face.

Q laughed, wrinkling his nose. "You're the one that gave them parmesan cheese, you deserved every stinky moment."

"Never again," said Bond sombrely, though he spoiled it a bit by offering Q a bite of cupcake.

They shared the sweets and tea between kisses and sly commentary, and Q sobered up enough that the second time he tried it, he got Bond's shirt off with something resembling his usual dexterity. Bond hoisted Q up by his hips and carried him into the bedroom, losing most of the rest of their clothes on the way and stripping off the last of them after laying Q out in the bed.

"I still can't believe no one ever saw how beautiful you are," said Bond, "but I know you've only ever been mine."

Q laughed and flushed. "You're mad for finding that sexy," he said, but it was a hollow protest. He'd grown to love Bond's possessiveness, and he didn't mind one bit that all of his newfound sexual skills were very specific to this one man. "How has no one else seen that you're this sweet?"

It was Bond's turn to grow red and laugh shyly. "Most people don't deserve my sweetness," he said, a world of unspoken things beneath the flippant reply. He crawled naked up the bed, rubbing his face against Q's thighs, cheeks still mostly smooth. "And I know how you love sugar."

Q spread wider, inviting Bond to have a taste of whatever he liked of Q. "I do love it," said Q, head starting to spin again with arousal as much as the drinks. "I love you."

"And I love you," said Bond, his voice low and serious. "Now you'll be mine no matter who asks."

Q's retort died in his throat as Bond sucked a mark inside his thigh, turning it into a row of them going higher and higher. Bond's mouth was so talented it was obscene, it was perfect, and Q quickly lost himself as Bond used it to great effect. Bond mouthed at Q's thighs and hips, his balls and the base of his cock, teasing but not following through with lips and teeth and tongue. Finally he slipped down to kiss Q's opening gently, strong hands holding Q's thighs wide while Bond licked his entrance with single-minded intensity.

Q mewled and writhed, but Bond kept the important parts right where he wanted them, licking and sucking until Q was open and wet and so, so needy. "Please, please," he begged, his original intentions all but forgotten in the wake of Bond's devastating oral attentions.

"Soon, kitten," said Bond, rubbing Q's belly, careful not to touch his straining cock. He wiped his face on the duvet, crawled up Q's body, and claimed a kiss while one hand snagged the lube off the bedside table.

Q let himself be kissed and calmed, manhandled and fingered open, and he grinned down at Bond when he found himself astride Bond's thighs and faced with his gorgeous cock. Bond slicked lube over himself, eyelids fluttering just enough to give away that he was nearly as worked up as Q. 

"Ready?" asked Q, moving forward until he was straddling Bond's hips.

"So ready, my love," said Bond, holding himself up so Q could lower himself down.

Q gasped as Bond's thick cock breached his body, but his lover had done a good job and he was open and ready for it. He sank down slowly, pleasure growing with every inch. "James, my monster, my fiancé," said Q, eyes on Bond's face.

Bond linked their left hands together, showing off the rings. "My husband to be," said Bond, voice rough and blue eyes gone dark with desire. "My mate."

Q shifted his hips for balance, moving Bond inside him enough to make them both gasp. "L-love you," he stuttered, bracing himself against Bond's chest with his left hand, looking from the ring to Bond's face over and over as he began to move. He rocked up and down, slow and small movements at first, not letting more than an inch of Bond's cock out before taking it right back in. The hand on Bond's chest served to keep Bond in place, to keep him from taking over while Q rode him increasingly faster and harder, but not nearly fast enough for Bond.

"Bloody, fuck, tease," gasped Bond, though the hand curled around Q's was gentle. His hips moved in time with Q's, pulled along in the inexorable rhythm, faster and faster, harder and harder, though they could go no deeper.

Q lost the thread of his thoughts entirely when Bond's free hand moved from hip to cock, a slick fist that Q fucked up into on the upstroke and pulled away from on the downstroke. It didn't take long after that for Q's toes to curl, his spine to bow, and his body to shudder as he found his completion. Q spurted over Bond's chest, over their hands and bodies, and he moaned as he felt Bond following him over the precipice into orgasm.

Q collapsed against Bond's chest, kissing his chin lazily, not wanting to lose their connection just yet. "Now they're been properly christened," he said, wriggling his fingers under Bond's. They were trapped between their bodies, rings tapping together and slick with Q's seed.

Bond chuckled wickedly. "I'll have to make sure to add my own contribution this weekend," he said, nuzzling until Q tilted his mouth up enough for a proper kiss.

Q let out a happy sound and settled into Bond, ignoring their stickiness for now, though they'd have to deal with it sooner rather than later. "You're lucky I don't have fantasies of the perfect wedding," said Q with a low chuckle. "Though I do expect you to buy me one of those tuxes so I look as good as my husband-to-be at the ceremony."

Bond laughed and kissed him again. "I wouldn't miss out on that for the world, my love."

* * *

Monday morning, Q brought confections for all of Q-branch to go with his happy announcement.

"You're really going to marry that idiot?" said Eve, leaning against his desk and eating a blue-frosted cupcake with a grin.

"He got us matching TARDIS wedding rings, I could hardly refuse after that," said Q, glancing fondly over to the knot of people by the food table. Bond had been waylaid by some of the minions for a completely ineffectual talk about breaking their Quartermaster's heart. Q was pretty sure he heard giggling.

"I do suppose he'd have been heartbroken if you didn't," she said, eyes following Q's.

Q gave her a conspiratorial look and said fondly, "He's not the only one."

"Well then," said Eve, clinking her teacup against Q's, "I guess it's a happy ending after all."


End file.
